Tips to Better Sex.

Peak Points
* Do Kegel exercises for ejaculatory control.
* Get into an aerobic exercise routine for greater stamina.
* Strengthen your shoulder, back and abdominal muscles so your thrusting and support muscles don”t tire.

What does it mean to have “great sex”? Ask a thousand people, and you”ll get a thousand answers. Sex is a complex mix of the physical, the mental and the spiritual, and for each man and woman, the optimal balance is different. For some, brain stimulation- romance, mystery, love, even danger-dominates the sexual encounter; for others, the greatness is all in the technique, the sensations.

Sorry, but we”re not going to focus deeply on those things. Instead, we”re going to take one step back. Our perspective is that no matter how you define great sex, you won”t be able to achieve it without plenty of stamina, energy and ejaculatory control. These we can teach you.

It’’s no small point. Few men past the age of 40 can claim the jackrabbit sexual energy or capacity they had in their teens. Likewise, how many men can say they have consistently good control over their private part’’s performance? And yet, with the right exercises, men can achieve a whole lot more sexual vigor than they likely would imagine. And who doesn”t want more sexual vigor?

Improving Ejaculatory Control

First and foremost, the typical guy wants control over when he ejaculates. Problem is, the heat of the moment always interferes. We”re chugging along, enjoying the ride, when suddenly things pick up speed. Too late, we realize we”re on the express train to Orgasm Junction, when what we really wanted was the slow route so we could take in the scenery along the way.

Although the delicious sensations of sexual contact are the main triggers of an ejaculation, there are a number of bodily processes that control the physical act of ejaculating. Many of these processes are completely involuntary, but there are some key functions that you can learn to control.

“You need a lot of different events to occur in the body for ejaculation to happen,” says William Hartman, Ph.D., co-director of the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California. “There’’s muscle contraction, there’’s breathing, there’’s pressure you bring to bear on the penis. To a large degree, there are techniques any man can learn so that he can delay his orgasm and enjoy sex for longer periods of time.” Here are some tried-and-true methods.

Learn to block. Okay, these tips don”t fall in the category of training your body for long-term control. But if you want to slow things right away, as in tonight, here are three ways to do that, according to Dr. Hartman.

1. When you feel like you are about to ejaculate, firmly press and hold the underside of your penis. The idea is to block the ejaculate from passing through your urethra. Hold still for 12 seconds. You could involve your partner and ask her to hold you tight “down there.” Once the sensations pass, you can resume your business.

2. Again, just prior to ejaculating, place your fingers against your perineum (that’’s the space between your penis and anus) to block your testicles from retracting into your body. Do that correctly and it will keep you from ejaculating.

3. A third method is the start-and-stop. Essentially, when you begin to feel an orgasm coming on, slow down your motion, even coming to a halt if need be. Let the sensation pass before starting up again. Let your partner know what you are doing, though-she might get frustrated otherwise.

Clinch it with Kegels. Your lower pelvis is home to some pretty powerful muscles. Take the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. They”re the muscles you use to stop urinating midstream. They”re also the muscles you feel contracting when you ejaculate. If you do an exercise known as a Kegel, where you clench and unclench your PC muscles, you can build control over them and prolong ejaculation. “The idea is that, at the point where you”re about to ejaculate, you clench the PCs hard, and that prevents the ejaculation,” says E. Douglas Whitehead, M.D., director of the Association for Male Sexual Dysfunction in New York City. “But first, you”ll have to do a lot of Kegels.”

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